R-E-S-P-E-C-T is a word that is frequently mentioned when we determine how a leader shows up and impacts those around them. Respect is lacking when we have a habit of changing our appointment calendar, missing appointments, talking over someone trying to make their point, constantly showing up late, or looking at a computer or phone screen when someone is asking you for your input.
“The unfortunate consequence of delivering the message in the least effective manner and place is reducing motivation and performance.”
Respect (and the sacred bonds of trust) can be broken when an individual decides to share something with another human being in a less than private place. I am struck by how many managers minimize the precious moments of rewarding positive behaviour by giving their praise in a public place without the consent of others. By offering praise in front of others the recipient may be embarrassed and wish they had never done something outstanding. The unfortunate consequence of delivering the message in the least effective manner and place is reducing another individual’s motivation and performance.
My point is to encourage you to give careful consideration to how the other person will receive your praise (or criticism). Ask yourself “Where is the best place to deliver my message with the desired impact”? “How do I deliver my message so that Bob or Jessica will receive my feedback in the most positive way”?
Here’s a list of a few places where I definitely do not encourage you to hold a conversation when you are offering feedback or discussing a sensitive topic.
- In the office hallway or corridors as you pass one another
- On the production floor
- In an elevator (with or without other people present)
- In a vehicle when other colleagues are with you
- When seated behind your desk (from a place of power and authority)
- When you are not emotionally grounded or able to quickly summon your emotional smarts
- When there has been a history of disagreement or conflict, or
- By text comments or over the phone without the capacity to pre-position or follow-up on the initial conversation
I invite you to share your experience of receiving feedback when it was not positioned in the most effective way or place.
Recommended Reading:
Harvard Business Review – “Choose the Right Place to have a Sensitive Discussion”
The 3 Signs of a Miserable Job by Patrick Lencioni